Her Death
by Jessie611
Summary: Major character death. Final chapter his POV.
1. Chapter 1

So this is what death is like she thought to herself; the gentle flow of life ebbing away. She'd known for a while that this was how she would go eventually; she'd known she wouldn't grow old, wouldn't have the kind of life that most women do. She took a deep breath then quickly regretted it as the sharp pain threatened to send her consciousness into oblivion. She didn't want to lose consciousness yet, she wanted to go when she was ready and that wasn't yet.

She'd heard somewhere that if you confess your sins before death then you were more likely to go to heaven. Not that she thought she believed in god and heaven; but she wanted to do everything she could to make sure she went to as good a place as possible. She'd done bad things in her life, she'd killed people, she'd lied (although not very well) and she'd generally been rude and obnoxious to mostly everyone she met. She couldn't think of every single wrong that she'd done, she didn't really think it necessary to confess every detail; at least she hoped it wasn't.

She lay in the middle of the field, could feel the warm stickiness of her own blood pooling beneath her. She could hear the sound of sirens in the distance and she knew they were coming for her but that they would be too late. She knew no-one could save her now.

A thought suddenly occurred to her; it probably wasn't enough just to confess your sins, you probably had to be sorry for them as well. Uh-oh, this is where she'd get in trouble. Some things she was sorry for, things like upsetting people unnecessarily – she'd done that a lot. But she wasn't sorry for the killing and the lying; they had been necessary. Oh well, there goes heaven; at least she'd heard it was warm in hell and she'd always been someone who felt the cold.

She heard the hum of the helicopter blades, felt the turbulence from its closeness rippling through the grass surrounding her. The cavalry was here, oh well – too late cavalry, she thought to herself with a small smile. She heard voices shouting, the pounding of running feet as the helicopter landed.

She felt someone beside her, falling to their knees and touching her body with urgency as though willing her to be alive. She felt warm hands on her cold face and she struggled to open her eyes, struggled to focus. She heard a familiar voice urging her to be ok, asking her to stay with him, telling her she couldn't go, that she couldn't die.

How was she supposed to die now? When the one reason to keep going in her life was holding her? But she knew her body was failing her. Her mind was strong, her heart stronger; but her body was weak. She couldn't fight the pain anymore, but she wanted to; oh god, how she wanted to. She looked at him through the mist that was clouding her vision, blinked a couple of times to get him in focus.

Ah, there he was. The man made of steel on the outside but with the heart of a lion on the inside. His one visible weakness that she could see was his face; a face that could translate hundreds of tiny emotions; a face that communicated a sweetness that only few could really see. And she was one of the few; had seen it almost straight away. He was haunted by ghosts and she didn't want to be one of those ghosts. But she had no choice now.

Her breath was rasping, an icy chill was creeping up her body and she knew it was nearly time. She looked into his eyes and saw pain and betrayal, pain that she was going and betrayal that she was not taking him with her. But she couldn't; it wasn't his time yet, it would be soon but not just yet.

She smiled at him, at least she attempted to – knowing her luck it probably came out as one of her infamous grimaces. She reached up to gently stroke his face; he grasped her hand and held it to him. She tried to speak but couldn't make herself heard. He leant close to her, his ear next to her lips. She tried again to speak, to say the words she'd been too scared to say before now. It took a couple of attempts and eventually those three words were said; too late to take back, but now she had no reason to want to take them back. She didn't need to protect him from them anymore, she felt relieved that he knew.

His face was so close to her now, she saw a glimmer of a sad smile as he told her he knew; that it was ok, that he had never had a better woman love him. She felt his lips gently touch hers, could taste the essence of him as she was drifting away. As kisses went, it was both sad and sweet, full of promise that never would be delivered.

As she closed her eyes again she could still feel his warm breath against her lips, his tears trailing down both of their faces. In her mind she was saying goodbye, saying a thousand other things she couldn't say in life; she hoped he heard them as her breath stilled and her life ebbed away.


	2. Chapter 2

He knew she was in trouble but he couldn't get to her quick enough. This wasn't the first time he'd stolen a helicopter to get to her but this time he had a feeling of certain dread that he wouldn't make it. He flew over the field and saw a lone figure in the distance, lying prone on the ground, still aside from the gentle breeze ruffling her clothes.

He felt the panic rising in his chest as he landed the chopper; this was his greatest fear when he first got the call from Bill telling him that she was missing. He had walked away from CTU six months before, determined to try and live a normal life, to try and make things work between him and the woman he thought he loved. But it hadn't worked; he was too damaged to live that kind of life. The only person that had understood that was now lying in a pool of her own blood in the middle of nowhere.

He jumped out of the chopper and ran towards her, falling to his knees by her side. She stirred when he called her name, struggling to open her eyes. His relief at finding her alive was short lived for he knew for certain that she would soon be gone. The fragility of her life was hanging in the air between them and he felt an overwhelming need to hold onto her and never let go. She was the last thing between him and his certain spiral into a despair that could only end in the kind of misery that he couldn't begin to imagine. And he'd already experienced misery that most would not have survived. But he had survived it and the main reason for that was her.

Tears fell from his eyes, tears borne out of the imminent loss; yet even now she was the one trying to comfort him. She gently stroked his face and told him she loved him. He knew that if he told her how he really felt it would sound unbelievable; how can you tell someone how you feel as they take their last breath? He didn't want her to think him a coward; after all wasn't it only cowards who spoke the truth when there was no longer a reason to lie? If he asked that question out loud she would probably tell him that was exactly what she was doing, telling him how she feels now there was no reason not to. Yet the truth was that her reasoning had been purely and simply to protect him; to protect him from having to make another difficult choice in his life; to protect him from having to walk away from her rather than hurt her.

He leant forward and gently kissed her; taking in the taste of her, taking her breath and mingling it with his own in the hope of keeping a part of her with him. He didn't want her to leave, wanted to go with her. He traced her lips with his own wishing that he had done this sooner, wishing that he'd been able to show her what she meant to him.

Her breath was stilling, her body now slack in his arms. The air around them was full of unspoken words; he may not have heard them but he felt them, he understood them now better than if she had spoken them. He lay down beside her, pulling her towards him as she took her final shallow breath.

She was gone.

He lay holding her for an indeterminable amount of time; not wanting to let go of her, not wanting to let go of what she meant to him.

Eventually he knew he would have to get her out of there, he had to take her someplace where she could be at peace. He slowly moved, not wanting to let her go but did so momentarily to position himself to carry her body. He lifted her into his arms, holding her close to his body and carried her towards the waiting helicopter.

Just as he reached the helicopter he heard the sound of a sniper shot and felt an instant burn in the middle of his back.

His legs buckled and he fell to the ground, never letting go of her. His body sank lower as he felt pain transcend through his chest and travel down his body. The pain was a comfort to him; a reminder that he was alive but only for a moment.

He lay on his side looking at her as he realised he would soon be joining her. He heard the sound of others running towards them and pulled her body closer; not wanting to let them take her from him.

His thoughts turned to memories; of the first time they met; the first time she put her complete and utter faith in him; the first time he was terrified for her; the first time he realised how imperfectly perfect she really was; and now, the first time he held her in his arms safe in the knowledge that she would be with him for eternity.


End file.
